Tortoise and turtle naming can be a challenge. After all, these reptiles might make lovely pets, but they don’t have the personality of a puppy or bird so naming them is often hard.
We’ve knocked out heads together and here are the best turtle and tortoise names that came out.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley: You can’t miss when naming your turtle after a Romanic poet, particularly when they have the word “shell” in their name. Day-to-day you can call your little guy “Percy” which is simply delightful.
- Dash: A joke about the slow speed of a turtle or tortoise might seem a little obvious, but it’s still funny. Dash is the perfect combination of a real-sounding name (Dashiell in particular), something short and snappy, and that is easy to spell.
- Flash: Yes, this is another fun play on the speed joke.
- Spike: A mean name for a sweet pet is always going to be funny. Naming your little Yellow-Bellied Slider “Spike” is always going to be great.
- Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, or Raphael: Naming a turtle after a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle might seem obvious, but given that this show originally aired in 1984, it’s going to only be a relevant reference for people of a certain age (say, over 35), making these names so obvious that they have taken a 180-degree turn back to being fun.
- Cuff or Link: If you watched the classic movie Rocky very closely, you’ll have noticed that the titular hero has two pet turtles, name Cuff and Link. The names are a not very funny play on “cufflinks” which reflect Rocky’s appreciation for dad jokes, which he uses to court his future wife. If you are a fun of the movies then these names can’t miss. Of course, they aren’t nearly as good if you are getting only a single turtle.
- Merton – This is the real name of the DC Comics’ Super Pets turtle, who goes by the hero name of Terrific Whatzit. It’s a bit obscure, but it’ll be less so with the 2022 theatrical release of DC League of Super-Pets.
- Murtle: Not only is this a delicious rhyme, but Murtle The Turtle is the world’s largest turtle statue (or replica of any kind. It’s not-so-famously located in Joshua Tree, California.
- Salvatore: If you’ve watched HBO’s famous series Entourage you might remember that one of the main stars was “Turtle” who was the main star, Vincent Chase’s best friend who tagged along on the group’s wild ride in through LA stardom. The real name of Turtle, was, in fact, Salvatore Assante, which only true fans of the show will know. So if you want everyone to know that you truly love Entourage then reversing this nickname by naming your turtle Salvatore (or “Sal” for short) will make sure surefire pleasure each time you say hi to your turtle. This joke is about 100% less funny for a tortoise, so don’t try it!